Guess Who's Here Now!

The true adventurer is not defined by the amount of danger he's been in, or his motive and whatnot. A true adventurer, dear reader/s, is defined by the very lack of any such motive. Daring is he, who without cause or purpose, smacks a bull on the horns and, once the chase is on, tries to run it into the fat faggoty hawaldaar standing at the corner swallowing samosas. This is the tale of one of these rare spirits one may perchance get a glimpse of in one's lifetime.

And so it was that one fine day, Khoob Lal was walking down a dark, dusty, green path to his one-room apartment. Walking next to him was his trusty canine companion, Skub. The sky was a nice, confusing opal. On his way he met Beam, the big guy from his school days; who buy the looks of it was going out drinking.
"Kubby!", he yelled. "Chal let's go have a drink."
"No dude" was Khoob Lal's reply. "Some other time maybe."
"Oh c'mon! It's been such a long time since we last went to a Pub." "Be that as it may, I'm afraid I'll have to pass. I have a lot of work to do tonight."
"Whoa! Pro!" "Shats ho gayaa hai mera! What pro? Bad situation dude, crisis mode. We might have to cancel the Chubbs this year."
"Are you honestly gonna tell me that the H.L. Chubb awards are not going to be given out this year? But that's the only reason I have for coming to Goa all year! The Waves, Coco-nuts, and whatnot."
"I''m telling you dude, it's real. And they're trying to pin the whole thing on to me. Christ! I've been in the heat of things for so long, I feel like I have Burns all over me!"
"Ah! It's okay, you'll handle it."
"I'll have to! Someone has to fix this thing. Anyway dude, I'll see ya later, gotta go now. C'mon Skubby!"

In case you haven't guessed, it's ME!!!
Thank You